I didn’t think I would be writing this letter, but I don’t think anyone ever thinks they’ll have to.
I miss you.
I’m heartbroken you’re gone.
This is much harder than I thought it would be.
I’m sorry that as I got older I saw you less. I’m sorry that you didn’t know me as well as you used to because I didn’t tell you as much.
You are one of the kindest men. You made me feel safe.
I remember when I was younger and me and my sister had to leave home for a while because of domestic abuse and you took us in and looked after us because dad couldn’t at the time.
I remember you taking me and Georgia to the science museum and to the zoo.
You’d always walk to the drive to give us a hug and wave us off.
I’m sorry that I only saw you once after you’re terminal diagnosis. I promised you I’d see you again and I broke that promise and I’m so sorry.
I didn’t realise how hard this was going to be and I wish this never happened.
I just wish I could hug you again.
I love you so much
I will see you again soon. xxx
I have tried to contact you several times.
The first time I tried you pretended to not even exist.
The second time you told me that I didn’t need you.
The third time you told me you couldn’t help, and the last time you made me think you were in but then I realised it was just voicemail.
But I think I may have finally got through to you.
I mean, it’s obviously going to take a while for us to build a relationship back up. I mean you have been quite horrible to me in the past.
But I think together we might be able to do this.
I know you’re not the conventional type.
You’re not the type who likes to fix me and leave me.
You probably want to stay around forever, and I hope so considering you’ve ignored me for so long.
But I’m glad we are talking again.
And I really think we’ve got a shot at it this time.
Right now, in this moment, you feel like failure.
You feel like you’re unsuccessful, like you don’t do enough. Well I can assure you, you are not any of those things.
Yes, life has taken an unexpected turn recently.
You’ve ended up having to take time out of study.
You’re not very well.
But remember all the good things.
Remember your mentor telling you that you’ll make an amazing nurse.
Remember you course lead telling you that you are inspirational.
Remember your friend telling you that they are proud of you.
Remember your family telling you that they love you.
You have given to others more time and love than you have given yourself the last few years.
It’s time to be nice to you.
“You cannot pour from an empty cup”
You are not a failure,
You are just giving yourself the time you deserve to be the best you can be.