Yesterday I had a mental health assessment to help me access some support now I’m not at home. I’ve had these assessments before and I was fairly apprehensive about it.
Thankfully, the women I saw was lovely and very helpful. The outcome of this appointment was a refferral to the eating disorder clinic. I was shocked.
I grew up with an anorexic mother. I knew from a fairly young age what an eating disorder looks like, well I thought I did.
The stigma surrounding eating disorders quite often makes people think that you have to be anorexic in order to have an eating disorder, however this is not the case.
Since I was about 12 I have had a maladaptive relationship with food. One that has caused me distress and happiness, however I thought my behaviours were normal. If I was feeling rubbish about myself the instant solution was to not to eat, or it was to eat a lot. Both of which unhelpful and unhealthy behaviours that later lead me to feeling worse.
Although retrospectively I can see it’s unhealthy, I still can’t believe that I have an eating disorder, because I don’t look like I have one.
I guess I’ll just have to learn that there is no such thing as being too fat for an eating disorder.
Love Abbie xx